Act II

***********[PLAY SONG “DIAL UP” AT THIS POINT]**********

The Boy lies, arms to his side, on his bed, looking at the ceiling.

Spiders slowly drop from single strands of web from all the posts on the bed. It looks pretty. All of them dropping simultaneously swaying together. They whisper:

……where are you?

…………….who is this?

don’t slide.

It’s almost a song.


*********[PLAY SONG “THE WORST GUYS” AT THIS POINT]*********

INT. MANSION – NIGHT

More people are at the house. People drinking and smoking. Shoes off. It’s a Temple. Respect it.

The back wall of the living room has been pushed into the wall, so there’s a seamless transiting from living room to backyard patio.

People sit on the swings underneath space heaters.

EMILY is in the middle of the pool table. Swank plays pool around her. RUBEN is filming Marcus and Steve throwing things in the fire pit.

AJ is djing in the middle of the living room.

Some guy is running through the living room in just a towel. He is dripping water. He almost slips.

The projector room (theatre) is playing Fight/Vine compilations. Two dudes are in there not watching. Just smoking.

The Boy walks through the backyard. There’s a dude and a girl making out on the bar outside. They’re sitting on the bar.

THE BOY

Don’t sit on that.

They look at him. He stares back. They get down. away. They stare as he leaves. The Boy walks to the pool and looks at the ocean go into the sky.

THIS KID IN A HAT (laughing/whisper)

Hurry!

This kid in a hat and his friend are running out the front door with an iPad and a midi controller. The Boy walks inside. Marcus stops him. He’s out of breath and looks wet.

THE BOY
Some guys just stole some stuff.

MARCUS
Please tell me you saw that Argentinan…Argentinian? Argentina- girl. I can’t say it-

THE BOY
Stop inviting random niggas in here. If you don’t know their names they can’t come.

MARCUS
I don’t hear you right now. I just fucked in a steam shower and I feel CRAZY. It’s like I came in a Prince video. I like, blacked out. Couldn’t breath in there, mane. I-

(wait)
Fuck! Is she still in there? You think she’s okay?

He thinks.

THE BOY
You’re the Florida of my friends.

The Boy walks away.

INT. FATHER’S ROOM – NIGHT

The Boy walks up to the door. Before he can open it, Sasha opens it from the inside. She’s with another girl. It feels like they just did a drug or were stealing something themselves.

Sasha sees The Boy. Startled. Then she smirks.

SASHA

Come in! Quick!

She pulls him in. The other girl flops on the bed.

OTHER GIRL

UUUUUGGGGHHHHHHH. SOOOOO

SOOOOOFFFFTTT.

SASHA
Hurry, hurry, hurry. Scoot, scoot.

The Boy lays against the wall. Sasha sits on the bed. Silence. Then:

SASHA (CONT’D)

Show us your dick.

THE BOY

Wha?

SASHA

Do it. Show it.

OTHER GIRL

Ew.

Silence.

THE BOY

Ha.

Silence.

THE BOY (CONT’D)

Why?

SASHA

Cause it’s probably gross and I wanna laugh at it.

OTHER GIRL

I’ve never seen a black dick. Is it purple?

SASHA

Grape dick.

OTHER GIRL (agreeing)

Grape dick.

Sasha gets up and starts to punch The Boy playfully. The other girl is laughing crazy.

SASHA

Do it. Don’t be weird!

OTHER GIRL

Let’s be weird a little!

The punches slowly stop. Then Sasha starts kissing The Boy. You cant see below their waist, but stuff is going on. Then stuff stops.

SASHA

What’s wrong? This is weird?

THE BOY

No.

SASHA

You don’t want to? This is weird?

THE BOY

No. I want to.

SASHA

Then…what’s going on, chum?

THE BOY

Hold on.

The Boy plays with his dick. Nothing. It’s like gum.

Silence. Fidgeting. Sasha’s got a [ASHAMED EMOJI] look on her face.

THE BOY (CONT’D)

Hold on.

He walks into the bathroom and closes the door. Locked. Silence. Sasha sits on the floor.

OTHER GIRL

What’s up?

**************[PLAY SONG “SHADOWS” AT THIS POINT]***********

INT. BATHROOM – NIGHT

The Boy sits on the floor. Head in hands.

Damn, guy.

The Boy’s ex-girlfriend steps out of the linen closet.

VANESSA

What are you doing?

THE BOY (head in hands)

Chillin.

VANESSA

In the Bathroom?

THE BOY

Mmm-hmm.

VANESSA

Well, I want to go out.

THE BOY

(”no”) Mmm-mmm.

Vanessa playfully throws things from the counter at him (toothbrush, cup, floss, soap). He throws some of it back. She starts laughing. He pulls her to the ground with him.

VANESSA

Why are you so moody?

THE BOY

I’m not. Let me enjoy this for a second.

VANESSA

We can do this outside, [EDIT]

THE BOY

We could live the rest of our lives here. There’s a TV in the mirror. There’s fresh water every time we flush. I heard they’re building a sandwich place in the shower.

Vanessa smh and smiles.

VANESSA

Get up. We’re going.

THE BOY

Come ‘on-

VANESSA

I mean it!

She pulls him up. She opens up the linen closet and pulls The Boy in.

Coachella is inside the closet.

There are people saying things, giving opinions, feeling interesting. Everyone has a purpose today. It’s a great time.

The Boy chases after Vanessa and catches her. He carries her for like three steps, then they walk together, holding hands.

VANESSA (CONT’D)

We have to see everything together.

I don’t wanna split up this time. We each get to choose one band the other one can’t make you see-

(then)

What’s wrong?

THE BOY

(smh) …

VANESSA (disappointed)

Really?…You’re really doing this to me? Right now?

THE BOY

You don’t think this is a waste of our time?

VANESSA

No, I don’t think me and you together is a waste of time. That’s what you think. And I’m tired of trying to convince you otherwise. At least be a man and break up with me instead of telling me I don’t like you.

THE BOY

But you don’t! You don’t really like me. I just look good when you scroll past me with the rest of your “I’m almost Vashtie” bullshit.

[NO MOUTH EMOJI]

VANESSA (teary whisper)

You’re so mean.

THE BOY

I’m trying to be honest.

VANESSA

Mean doesn’t mean honest! Honest can mean mean. But only if you mean it.

THE BOY (so many “means”)

Wait…the-

VANESSA

I’m trying so hard with you. But I’m not gonna carry us. I won’t waste your time anymore.

She starts walking away. Then she looks to the sky and shoots up like a rocket. She looks like a shooting star in the sky.

Not a sound is heard while this happens. They never see each other again.

Then the coyotes come out.

They’re glowing blue. They’re circling and they’re talking about music.

WOLF 1
What’d you think of 2 Chainz’ set?

WOLF 2
It was really fun. His live shows have gotten way better. I saw him last spring in Chicago.

WOLF WITH GLASSES

Have you heard that Roc Marciano album on vinyl? It’s so good, man.

MESSY, BUT COOL WOLF

You guys, this is my fiance, another wolf. He or she works in a small music or graphic design for niche clothing or this app I’m building.

They rip The Boy to shreds while they talk. Blood everywhere. The Boy doesn’t make a sound. Lets it happen.

INT. BATHROOM – NIGHT

The Boy realizes he is pacing in the shower. He’s been in their for a minute, cause the water is cold.

He opens the door. The girls are gone. The small clock on the desk says “5:23 AM”. There’s also a note written in lipstick on the mirror that says “YOUR FUCKED” (smh at the “your”). Probably Sasha. She’s probably right.

CUT TO:

INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

The house isn’t totalled, just dirty. Empty cups, bottles, cigarette butts, etc. The Boy sees Steve and Swank passed out on the couch.

THE BOY

Let’s go guys.

STEVE (waking up)

Where we going?

THE BOY

Oakland.

SWANK

When’s the flight leave?

THE BOY

We’re driving.

SWANK

How’d we get poor?

INT. FAM’S ROOM – NIGHT

Fam’s sleeping. There’s a naked girl sleeping with him. The Boy comes in.

THE BOY

We’re going.

The Boy leaves. Fam opens his eyes.

CUT TO:

********[PLAY SONG “TELEGRAPH AVE. ” AT THIS POINT]*********

EXT. MANSION – NIGHT

Swank, Steve, and Fam are asleep in the car. The Boy sits down in the drivers seat. He pulls out his phone and text someone named NYALA:

im driving up now

…(that moment you know exactly what they’re typing and how they look doing it)

She writes back: DONT

The Boy looks at this. Then starts up the car and turns on the radio and speeds out of the driveway.

A moment passes…

Then we see the girl that was in bed with Fam walk out in the Mansion doorway.

THAT GIRL FAM KNOWS FROM THAT ONE PLACE

Fam?

EXT. I-5 – NIGHT/EARLY MORNING

Everyone’s asleep in the car except The Boy who’s driving (AJ is there too. They picked him up.). Lloyd’s “Oakland” is playing on the radio. The Boy turns it up so he feels like he’s in a video. He pushes his seat back so he can lean.

SWANK

Ow, ow!

He slammed Swanks knees. Sorry.

The Boy speeds through the empty highway. It’s really pretty. I’m not sure what those factories are in the middle of nowhere with all the lights on them. They’re probably horrible for the earth, but they look really magical at night. He passes one of those factories.

There’s a lot of rolling hills. Lotta farms. There’s a slaughterhouse. Smells and looks grey and awful. All the cows look really sad. Maybe I’m just making them sad. Maybe they’re fine.

Looking at the rows of crops criss-cross on farms as they pass.

There’s a billboard. It says: ROSCOE’S WETSUIT

The Boy stares at it. Just a white billboard with “roscoe’s wetsuit” on it.

EXT. MIDDLE OF NOWHERE IN-N-OUT – DAY

The guys are sitting on their car, eating burgers at the far end of the parking lot.

As The Boy bites into his double-double he thinks about the slaughterhouse. Then he looks at his burger. He laughs.

Two women walk out. They look like they’re in their late 30s. Swank spots em. One of the women is wearing a Northwestern hoodie.

SWANK (re: hoodie)

Long way from Chicago.

WOMAN 1

Alumni.

SWANK

There’s no way. You can’t be over twenty-three.
The women just smirk and close their doors. They drive off.

SWANK (CONT’D)

See that? Johnny Appleseed of confidence, man. Just leaving little seeds with everyone.

A car crazily pulls up next to the in-n-out. Two dudes jump out with masks and guns.

FAM

Daaammmmnnn

They run inside. We see people running in their cars, and driving off. All of our guys stay seated on their car. Just eating.

A minute goes by. No gun shots. Just yelling.

They two dudes run out. Just as they do, you can hear the police coming.

ROBBERY DUDE 1

MOVE, RYAN!

AJ

This nigga’s using his real name. Treated.

STEVE

Could be a code name.

AJ

That’s definitely his real name. No one’s robbery name is “Ryan”. It’s something like…”Snake-Man”.

They all make a face.

AJ (CONT’D)

Fuck ya’ll. I wouldn’t rob a place with ya’ll pussy ass anyway.

The Police roll up. Ryan tries to get away, but they pin him. The other dude shoots at the cop.

FAM

We should leave. They’re shooting at the cops. Which means the other cops coming give a fuck ‘bout bystanders now.

MARCUS
(in anchorman voice)

Two men were arrested in an attempted robbery at an in-n-out burger today.

(mumbling)
Also some niggers ended up dead, we don’t know. This is news, people!

STEVE

After being frisked, the dead suspects somehow got guns and shot themselves in the head even though they were handcuffed and in the back of a tiny-ass squad car.

THE BOY

Police chief states: “no investigation needed”.

STEVE

“White people still safe!”

They laugh. As they start to drive off. Suddenly two cop cars screech in front of them.

COP 1

HANDS IN THE AIR!

STEVE

Fuck.

All of the guys put their hands up.

EXT. OAKLAND STREET – DAY

Everyone looks a little bummed. Silence. More silence.

THE BOY

We’re here.

They pull over to a row of brownstones.

MARCUS

Great. Why are we where is this?

The Boy gets out of the car and walks up to the door. As he’s about to knock, the door opens. Nyla is standing there. Her face is a mix of anger and strange sympathy. Like she refused to cry like…an hour ago?

THE BOY

Hey-

NYLA

There’s a point you reach when you’re no longer able to feel like you did. Not about a person, not with a certain place, you just can’t feel like you did because that muscle or whatever is just…dead. Or gone.

THE BOY

Hi, Nyla.

NYLA

When you’re alone, you might be able to remember it. You might even hear a song that makes you question it. But you don’t have it. It doesn’t exist anymore. It’s dead. Do you understand?

THE BOY

Yes. Absolutely. But Nyla-

NYLA

I AM AT THAT POINT, [EDIT].

Tears. She’s not crying. She’s just that mad. A dude pokes his head out from the hallway in the brownstone.

The Boy and him make eye contact.

THE BOY

This isn’t what you think it is. I didn’t come here to…look, I saw this dude die and-

NYLA

And you’re scared. So you came here.

THE BOY

I’m not scared. I just wanna be with someone who knows me for a little.

NYLA

I don’t know you. We’re not together. I have company. Go home.

THE BOY

Okay, you’re being mean now.

NYLA

“Mean?” Who cares? You’re an adult. Also, you embarrassed me.

THE BOY (to the dude in the hallway)

We were planning on having a kid together. She offered and we had a whole plan. Like adults or something. Then I backed out. So…

(then)
You’re second at best is what I’m saying.

The guy goes -__- [SIDE EYE EMOJI].

NYLA

What is wrong with you?

THE BOY

I don’t know.

NYLA

Me neither.

This is really sad for both of em. They really wanna know. Nyla closes the door.

NYLA (CONT’D) (through the door)

Please grow up.

The Boy stands there…then Swank walks up to him on the stoop of the brownstone.

SWANK

Can I use her bathroom? That double-double’s makin moves.

The Boy walks away and gets in the car. Swank stands there for a moment. Then tries to cut off a fart with his hand as he walks to the car.

CUT TO:

*********[PLAY SONG “SWEATPANTS AVE.” AT THIS POINT]*********

INT. OAKLAND CLUB – NIGHT

The guys sit at a table in the corner. The Boy is sitting in the corner. Fam is texting. Swank and Steve are talking to two girls. A promoter walks over.

PROMOTER

Ey. You gonna just sit here.

THE BOY

Yeah.

PROMOTER

Well, you gotta order something.

THE BOY

A bottle?

PROMOTER

Yeah. A bottle.

They stare.

THE BOY

I’ll take 12 bottles.

Promoter gives him a [NO MOUTH EMOJI]. The Boy just stares at him…he’s serious. The promoter walks off.

CUT TO:

Twelve girls with bottles and sparklers emerge around the club from the back. It’s a parade. They curve around the club making a big to do. People are staring, like “is Diddy here? OMG Diddy’s here!”.

The parade gets to the top of the stairs where the booth is. But when they turn the corner, the guys are gone already. There’s a stack of cash sitting in the middle the table.

The promoter stands there.

INT. DINER – LATE NIGHT

The guys are eating. The Boy is not.

SWANK

But animals eat animals, man. Animals!

STEVE

The argument is that we’ve been given the freewill and understanding of life. So we shouldn’t because the option is there for us.

SWANK

Man, in Nigeria they made me AND my little brother slaughter a goat. We raised that goat, man. I loved that fucking goat. And one day we came home from school and they just handed us the knife. I’ve seen the blood man. I’ve heard the screams. I still ate the shit though.

...I was here before.

THE BOY

We were here before.

FAM

What?

THE BOY

We’ve done this before.

FAM

Nah man. This is our first time together in Oakland.

THE BOY

This is every night. This is all the nights, man.

FAM (weirded out)

Nahhhh. We switch it up, man.

The Boy’s stops listening. Across the way there’s a group of kids eating in a booth. They’re laughing and talking behind the back of a friend they don’t seem to like very much. One of the girls is going in. But behind her, there’s a guy in a colorful faux 90’s hat. He’s writing something on the wall in sharpie.

He’s writing “roscoe’s wetsuit”. The Boy gets up and walks over.

THE BOY

Excuse me. What does that mean?

HAT KID

What?

THE BOY

Roscoe’s wetsuit.

HAT KID

Oh. I don’t know.

THE BOY

Yes you do.

HAT KID

Wha?

THE BOY

You know what it means. Tell me.

HAT KID

I don’t know. I saw it online.

THE BOY

So you just write shit you see?

HAT KID

Fuck’s your problem?

Fam walks up. Grabs The Boy.

FAM

Ey. Lets just eat.

The Boy and Fam sit.

HAT KID

It means I sat on your mom’s face.

The Boy SLAMS his fist on the table. It’s loud. Everyone in the diner looks at him. The Boy doesn’t look up.

THE BOY (quiet)

Tell me what it is or I’ll cut you open and take the answer.

Silence.

CUT TO:

EXT. HOTEL – NIGHT

The guys roll up to the front of the hotel.

SWANK

That kid was scared as fuck! He was like [OPEN MOUTH EMOJI].

FAM (to The Boy)

You good?

Boy doesn’t say anything.

INT. HOTEL LOBBY – NIGHT

The guys walk in the lobby. There’s an Indian wedding happening. They’re probably not called Indian weddings. It’s probably just a wedding, but all the people participating happen to be Indian. There’s a bunch of guys talking and quietly laughing in the hall. The door to the banquet room is open as they pass. The Boy stops. The bride and groom are slow dancing. The Bride is quite pretty. Green eyes and dark skin. She’s got the aura of a business woman. Probably met him at Stanford and was like “this is reliable”. The groom looks like a caricature of a good ol’ fashion white dude.

STEVE

Good for him.

SWANK

Nah. He don’t get any interracial points. He’s just doing what white guys been doing since forever. Exactly what he wants.

AJ

Really? Like that?

SWANK

Man, I used to get so pissed when girls would watch Boy Meets World and be like “Ryder Strong’s so dope for having a black girlfriend”. Man, fuck that nigga.

AJ

Come on, man. My dad’s white and his parents didn’t like my mom. They just started talking again.

SWANK (over the top)

Oh you’re poor white dad! (then)

Nigga, shut up. Take that team light skin shit outside.

THE BOY

I’ve never seen one of these.

FAM

A first dance?

THE BOY

A wedding.

FAM

Yeah. (then)
Marriage is so wack. I mean, I get it. But come on, yo. Forever?

(”Ms. Jackson”)
Forever, ever? Forever, ever?

THE BOY

You think either of them don’t wanna do it?

FAM

Mane, I bet both of em are like that.

THE BOY

They look happy as fuck though.

FAM

Cause they reached their goal. In a year they’ll be like “oh fuck…goals are dumb.”

MARCUS

Goals are dumb?

FAM

Making your life a goal is dumb. I think. This shit is supposed to be just fun.

(then)
I took an edible at the diner. It’s kickin in. Hard. I’ma go upstairs.

THE BOY

Okay.

They both stand there for a moment.

FAM

I’m gonna need some help.

AJ takes Fam by the arm.

FAM (CONT’D)

There we go.

They head to the elevators.

MARCUS

I’ma look for some bridesmaids.

He walks off.

STEVE (yelling to Marcus)

Gee-van-chi!

MARCUS (calling back)

Nigga, god bless you.

STEVE (to The Boy)

What you doin?

The Boy stares at the couple.

THE BOY

I’ma stay down here.

SWANK

You good?

THE BOY

I’m great.

They Kanye shrug, then walk off to the bar. The Boy walks into the banquet.

INT. BANQUET HALL – NIGHT

The lights are low. Most of the people have gotten up to pee or something. The Boy just stares at the couple. Then he decides to start recording. A man comes up to him.

OLDER INDIAN DUDE

Who are you here with?

THE BOY
(not looking up from his phone)
The groom. We went to college together.

OLDER INDIAN DUDE

Oh.
(then)

Nice isn’t it?

THE BOY (sincere)

Beautiful.

OLDER INDIAN DUDE

When the buddies start getting married, that means you’re next.

THE BOY

I don’t think so.

OLDER INDIAN DUDE

That’s what everyone says. That’s what I said thirty years ago.

THE BOY

I don’t believe in marriage.

(then)
Maybe that’s not true. But I am against it.

OLDER INDIAN DUDE

What do you believe in?

THE BOY

Cool baby mamas.

OLDER INDIAN DUDE

Ahhhhh. But how many women you know are interested in your concept?

THE BOY

More than you’d think. I find if you have a job and are actually interested in raising a child, women, who are a little older, tend to be responsive. I just don’t think they like being labeled that.

(then)
Do you get tired of it?

OLDER INDIAN DUDE

Of marriage?

THE BOY

Of marriage. Of her. Of yourself.

He thinks.

OLDER INDIAN DUDE

Yes. Sometimes.

THE BOY

Then why?

OLDER INDIAN DUDE

I had to man-up. It was time. I don’t regret it.

THE BOY

Well I don’t have to man-up. I did what I’m supposed to do. I found the things I’m good at. I didn’t get anyone pregnant on the way there. And I’ve had mature relationships that prepared me for what marriage is.

OLDER INDIAN DUDE

Mature relationships?

THE BOY

Yeah. I keep in touch with all my exes. We’re all friends.

OLDER INDIAN DUDE

You still call them.

THE BOY

I send em a happy birthday text or DM ‘em.

OLDER INDIAN DUDE

That’s not a friend. I do that with my boss. And I hate my boss. (MORE)

OLDER INDIAN DUDE (CONT’D) (to himself)

Fuckin Korean kid thinks he know everything.

Silence.

OLDER INDIAN DUDE (CONT’D)

What do you do?

THE BOY

I troll celebrities, politicians, or anyone with large enough online cache until I get a response. I post those responses and/or convos on my blog. And I charge gossip blogs and advertisers to advertise on my site and sometimes me and my friend put out novelty books of fucked up things we find online while digging up dirt on said celebrities and/ or politicians and sell it to niche book stores or larger stores that fit our aesthetic.

The man just stares, not understanding.

THE BOY (CONT’D)

How old are you?

OLDER INDIAN DUDE

Fifty-three.

THE BOY

I’m like Bill O’Reilly.

OLDER INDIAN DUDE

Oh.

The older man leaves. A shlubby man in a suit comes to the podium in front. People clap for the end of the dance.

MAN IN SUIT

I’ve known Safia and Greg since college and I honestly knew this day would happen since we were getting high in my dorm room junior year at GW.

(to mom)
Sorry Mrs. Healey, Greg smokes weed. You gotta deal!

Everyone laughs.

MAN IN SUIT (CONT’D)

But honestly, may you two spend the rest of your lives healthy and happy.

“Awwww.”

MAN IN SUIT (CONT’D)

And now, the traditional “march to forever” to bless the bride and groom with happiness for all their days to come.

Everyone claps.

**************[PLAY SONG “3005” AT THIS POINT]**************

Little creatures slowly start to march out from the kitchen. Some have banners that say “HAPPY MARRIAGE!”. Some have sparklers. They all bounce on beat. It’s cute for a very short moment. Then it feels wrong.

All the creatures have two legs, two arms, like humans. But they are definitely not humans. One of the giveaways being that they are naked, but don’t seem to have genitals.

All the creatures are breathing heavy out their mouths (their noses being two tiny slits probably don’t allow for heavy air traffic).

They’re about three feet high. Their eyes are larger than they should be and are spread farther on their faces. They don’t have hair anywhere on their bodies. They all have forced smiles on their faces. You can see just a little too sharp when they smile. Insinuating carnivorous behavior. If they wanted to, at any point they could jump on you and rip out your throat in .8 seconds. But they’re not right now. They’re marching.

One of the creatures has tears in it’s eyes. Still smiling tho. Pushing the smile.

Everyone is smiling as they march past, but they’re all very cautious. Clearly worried that one may attack. The Boy watches as the creatures reach the front of the party and form a circle. They do this weird clapping, almost step team routine, then stop. The music stops.

CREATURE 1

We did it!

CREATURE 2

Yay!

Everyone claps. The bride and groom force a smile. The creatures slowly make their way back to the kitchen. All that’s heard is their struggled breathing and clammy skin hitting the wooden dance floor. One stares at The Boy as he (or she) leaves.

…that was unacceptable. [LEMONGRAB: UNNACCEPTABLE!]

***********[PLAY “SECRET TRACK 9 1/2 [CODED] ” NOW]**********

(do not read on while this track plays. Wait until it is finished, then continue reading)

Continue to Act III…